How to support fraud victims, including yourself

Feelings of despair, and never-ending thoughts about what you could do to make yourself feel better, are often the first feelings that scam victims experience. In addition, victims may also experience unbearable emotional pain, shame, guilt, discriminatory labels, and feelings of being judged and exposed, among other things. Often, this causes most victims to suffer in silence, which ultimately severely affects their mental health.

First, it’s nice to know some of the most common emotional distress that scam victims may experience:
Anxiety
● Shame
● Embarrassment
● Guilt
● Morocco
● Depression
● Fear
● Loss of faith in others
● Loss of security
● Sadness

So… how do you deal with emotional distress after being scammed?

1. Accept your emotions

When one or more psychological distress occurs, victims tend to carry these types of emotions for an extended period of time. The positive to take away is that these negative emotions are a normal response to experiencing a scam. However, it is important to note that these feelings are not permanent. Research shows that by accepting our emotions rather than suppressing and avoiding them, your negative emotions eventually lose their power over your emotional state and therefore their intensity.
Scam victims may also experience something called "trauma denial," which is a way of putting distance between them and the overwhelming experience. Denial is a defense mechanism that involves ignoring the reality of the situation to avoid anxiety. Victims who experience a huge amount of money or a loved one disappear in an instant may face denial. In other words, denial is a barrier that keeps victims emotionally and mentally separated from the traumatic event (being deceived). Research shows that while denial may help in the short term, it ultimately makes it impossible to suppress one''''s true emotions and feelings in the long run. Ultimately, understanding why denial trauma occurs and accepting it can be a stronger long-term tool for victims to heal from the pain.

2. Find supportive family members and friends

Social and family support is one of the important areas that can provide you with a safe place to seek help. You should always find someone you can trust who can provide you with unconditional positive regard. This will make you feel you are in a safe environment you are not judged, ultimately allowing you to open up freely. Therefore, the listeners you choose must be very sensitive and must validate your trust in them. Research also shows that by talking about your psychological distress, such as anxiety, you increase your chances of reducing this emotional distress, helping you process trauma, and reducing self-destructive thoughts.

3. Self-Care

Self-Care Strategies Take steps to target negative thoughts and emotions. Some great examples of self-care techniques include deep breathing, exercising, eating healthy, consciously relaxing your shoulders, or even just stepping away from a tense situation for a few minutes. Other self-care strategies include participating in your favorite regular activities and avoiding alcohol or drugs - as these are maladaptive coping methods that can do more harm than good in the long run. Overall, these strategies can help victims build resilience to cope with stress.

4. Monitor and change your thoughts

Our thoughts influence our emotional state, which can motivate certain forms of behavior in response. For example, ruminating on something that has happened can keep you focused on negative internal self-talk. This often leads to an increase in emotional distress and keeps you in a state of pain. You should focus on what you can do instead of ruminating. So, learn to forgive yourself because no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and we all have the opportunity to learn from these negative experiences. That''''s what it means to be human.

5. Ask for help when you need it

Often, victims think they should be able to handle their problems on their own, but the reality is that we all need help at some point in our lives. There''''s no harm in asking a trusted family member or friend for help. If you still can''''t control your thoughts or emotions, try seeking out an expert in the field, such as a counselor. Other forms of help can include peer support groups (online or offline), talking to a doctor, or even contacting a helpline in your country.
How can I support someone who has been scammed?

1. Listen and empathize without judgement
Providing a shoulder to cry on is important and can make a world of difference. However, even more important is to listen and empathize without judging the victim. This is because the victim may have already judged themselves worse than anyone else. Therefore, having someone to talk to who will not judge them for the mistakes they have made is undoubtedly a priceless gift. Furthermore, it will also allow them to process what happened in a safe environment so that they can figure out how to make positive progress from the incident at their own pace.

2. Things You Should Never Say to a Fraud Victim

“What were you thinking?”

“How could you fall for this?”

“I would never fall for this.”

“Everyone knows about that scam.”

Let’s face it. These statements only cause the victim more embarrassment, shame, and self-doubt. It is not helpful at all. Don’t do it.

Instead, what we should do is remind the victim that we all can be susceptible to scams at some point in our lives.

3. Be Solution-Oriented, Not Problem-Oriented

It is common for victims to think endlessly about things they wish they could have done differently. Victims are often emotionally “stuck” in this train of thought and are unable to break out of this unhelpful thought pattern for many reasons. By encouraging them to focus on things they can control, it will help victims “get off the hook” a little bit. For example, some strategies that victims can control are getting educated about scams, such as the psychological tactics scammers use, reporting such crimes to the proper authorities, and even getting involved with organizations that support scammers ( GAFA!). These are all positive actions that can help scam victims heal and allow them to change their attitude and view the situations they encountered as lessons learned rather than feeling a complete failure in life.

4. Encourage victims to forgive themselves

Research shows that people who have been scammed may feel a complete failure in life after they realize what has happened to them. They ignore the fact that, although the consequences may be severe, it is still a mistake and not a statement about who they are as a person. We must make victims understand that we all make mistakes from time to time and encourage them to forgive themselves so they can find inner peace again.

Final Thoughts

If there is one thing to take away from all of this, it is to always be kind to yourself and understand that we all make mistakes from time to time. Don’t be hard on yourself and always pay attention to your mental health during difficult times.

Remember, you are never alone. There is always help out there waiting for you.